Arousal and erotica- need some help? Read this! 

Introduction from Melissa Hadley-Barrett and Contribution from Anonymous

Arousal and Erotica

Today’s topic is interesting and one I have decided to write about as it is a question I am asked often. So, I thought I would tackle it.  

As men age, many don’t find it as easy to be aroused as when they were younger. This can be due to lots of things; age, illness, treatment of illness, change in sensation, relationship issues, hormone decline, the list goes on and on. This can be a surprise to many men as they expect to feel ‘horny” all the time. 

Believe it or not, all men like film pornography and an alternative are erotic literature. Reading can be a great way to get the imagination working and it is a little less confronting for many people than the visual imagery of film pornography.  

Recently, I was asked by a lovely gentleman post prostate cancer if there was anything I could suggest to assist with arousal. He is in love with his partner and finds her very attractive. However, post treatment, even though he can get the bits to perform, he feels like arousal is more difficult.

We have covered various toys for extra stimulation in other blogs so today we will talk about different types of media that may assist.  


What we Do

Different Types of Media to Assist with Arousal

I was stumped for suggestions, so I contacted a regular client who I know reads widely.  His response was that he was delighted to help with caveat that “one person's food is another's poison so with this in mind, he shared some sources of erotica that he has found enjoyable. 

I would like to thank this client for sharing his knowledge and I hope you all find something that appeals to you.  

~ Melissa 

Erotica Ebooks

Regarding books, I buy nearly all of mine from Amazon. They have an Erotica category and one can find all sorts of goodies there. It's just a matter of crafting a search-phrase that caters to one's tastes. Books are cheap enough that one can buy and then discard, if unsuitable, with no great loss. I read them on my tablet using the free Kindle app available from the Play Store. 

Free Erotica Ebooks

One place to go for free ebooks is Smashwords. Since they're free, there are fewer there than the tens of thousands on Amazon but there are still some good ones to be had. I download my Smashwords books in ePub format and read them using the free application, FBReader. I expect I could read them using my Kindle app instead but choose not to in order to keep the two sources separate. 

Erotica Paperbacks

On rare occasions I buy paperbacks from op-shops, such as Salvos, Red Cross, Save The Children, etc. It might seem surprising that they can be found there, but they can. Needless to say, they are cheap as chips, so once again it's no great loss if they end up in the bin straight away. The most challenging moment comes when presenting them to the check-out staff for purchase! 

Photographic Erotica

There are also photographic erotica books on Amazon too, if one is so inclined. Such books are found in the photography subcategory of Erotica. If this subcategory is not immediately visible, one needs to search in Erotica first and then go to the menu icon in the top right corner and select the photography subcategory from there.

SBS On Demand

SBS On Demand is a great resource for exploring sex and sexuality and can be quite inspiring, often mentioning websites or books along the way that are worth following up. 

Erotica Recommendations

If your clients would like some recommendations, well, here are a few that range from sensuously warm to blazing ho

  • Portia Da Costa – classic, highly-acclaimed, erotica author whose titles are also available in paperback form from most conventional bookshops.
  • Harper Bliss – writes deeply emotional and descriptive best-selling lesbian stories. I love the insights into the female mind, body and thought processes that I get from her, such as in her series, "French Kissing", set in Paris
  • Bianca James – Award winning author who loves to explore sexual boundaries and build suspense.
  • Fiona Archer – Australian author – Try, "Surrender to Chance", "", or the "Sons of Sydney" series.
  • Genevieve Ash – Try, "Pleasure Heaven"
  • Stephanie Julian – Try, "By Private Invitation"
  • Clare James – International best-seller. Try, "The Fun and Games" series.
  • Blakely Bennett – Try the "Bound by Your Love" trilogy
  • Isabelle Drake – Try, the "Invitations" series
  • Kay Jaybee – writes delicious kink-oriented books. She is one of of the lovely trio of 'Brit Babes' erotica authors, Kaye tells us she writes while frequenting coffee shops along the south coast of England (which appeals to me!).
  • Sasha White – Canadian author whose bio tells us she has a "salacious imagination" - she does. I enjoyed her series, "Lush".
  • Lacey Alexander – I just love this author, whose bio describes her as, "...deliciously decadent, unbelievably erotic, exceptionally arousing, blazingly sexual, and downright sinful". I can attest to that.
  • Chloe Thurlow – As above. Sensational British author. Seems to like writing about Scotland – that country where no-one is quite sure what's under men's kilts.
  • Emily Tilton – very courageous, deep thinking, author not afraid to explore highly complex and controversial erotic subject matter. Be warned, though: not everyone's cup of tea, but absolutely sizzling if you like this particular taboo genre.
  • Yolanda Celbridge – One of many fantastic (in my view) authors who publish under the Nexus banner and who write sensationally hot, kinky, usually bisexual and quite long stories, using language and imagery that at times is simply magnificent. Draws you in and makes you feel like you're one of the characters. But, like Emily Tilton, you've really got to be comfortable with the genre.
From the Contributor himself:

Apologies in advance for any of the above suggestions that don't appeal. My tastes are quite broad and I wouldn't want to offend anyone by recommending something that is anathema to them, but I hope at least some of them hit the spot. 

This topic of sex is such an exhilarating, life-giving, and liberating subject, which we need to give ourselves permission to explore and enjoy. (Well, I think so anyway...)